Motherlode

My new addiction

Belated Father's Day Post

1981

In my first memory of my father, I am riding in a child seat attached to the back of his bicycle. It is dark and we are coasting through Provincetown on our way back to our motel. This is a special Daddy-Daughter trip, Mommy and the babies had to stay at home. Daddy bought me a small stuffed black cat but I dropped it as we pedaled around town. Later, Daddy went back and found it for me. I love you Daddy.

No Baby Fever Here

But I can't get baby names off my mind. I don't obsess about the boy names too much - it would be either Theodore or Luther, with a middle name of William.

But the girl names.

Oh, the girl names.

Frilly or tomboy? Classic or modern? Recognizable or unique?  There are so many to choose from, plus it has to live up to and complement Petal's name. I personally think we knocked it out of the park when we named Petal and I don't want her (theoretical) younger sister's name to be any less special.

Plus, working around a rarely heard one-syllable German surname that sounds like an English verb AND noun has proved to be challenging. Since our last name starts with a V, anything ending or starting with the V sound is out. Farewell Eve, Vanessa, Victoria, Genevieve, we hardly knew ye.

Then there's my self-imposed rules. The first name must be phonetic and have only one common spelling - I don't want any Sara vs. Sarah confusion. (I'm more lenient with the middle name.) The name cannot sound  similar to the name of any family members (again, I am more lenient with the middle name.) Emma and Clara/Clarissa are out thanks to cousins Emily and Claire, and there will be no little Cora since Jack's brother's name is Cory.

Poor Jack had no idea what he was in for when he married such a name aficionado. The summer we got together, we spent a weekend on Cape Cod with a group of my friends. When the ladies indulged themselves in a languid chat about names they'd like to give their future children, I bit my tongue and forbade myself to participate. I was dying to jump in but I didn't want Jack to think I was a baby-crazed ring chaser. I managed to hide my yearning for offspring for the next year, until the following summer. We were hiking in Yellowstone National Park as part of our cross-country goodbye-college-hello-Army extravaganza, and I felt comfortable enough to declare that I wanted to have children in the future. Four of them.

Ha. I am SO not cut out to be a large brood mama. Petal is getting precisely ONE sibling, so I've got to make sure his/her name is perfect.

Twitter

Maybe I should have stuck with Twitter, because I have lots of things I want to mention in my blog, but not the kind of things that should have whole entries devoted to them. Like how on Friday I asked my babysitter to come at 9:30 am and Petal fell asleep right before she got there, so I paid her to sit on my couch. Today I got smart and told her 10:00 am, but this time Petal hadn't even conked out yet, so guess where she spent an hour. Riveting, right?

Cryin'

The service was very, very emotional and sad, but it was seeing his baby pictures that broke my heart.

Spared

I'm 30 years old, and I've never been to the funeral of someone my own age. That will change on Saturday. For three years, I worked with a young woman named S. We had lunch together nearly once a week. To know anything about S was to know how devoted she was to her boyfriend, K. Six months ago, she became K's wife. Last weekend, she became his widow.

I met K a handful of times. Happy Hour, Bowling, Trivia Night, Wine in the Woods. I knew him largely through S's eyes. And though I've known of his passing for several days now, I just can't wrap my mind around the idea that her partner, her other half, is gone forever. The baby she wanted to have with him, who she'll now never hold, never hear cry. I hope that K will rest in peace and that S will be able to find her own peace.

PSA

I clearly remember a few years back when third hand smoke joined the long list of reasons to abstain from tobacco. About a year later, I got a BFP (big fat positive, as in on a pregnancy test for those not familiar with the acronym.) I became concerned about the copy of Under The Dome by Stephen King I had borrowed from the library when my wait list number came up. I'm pretty sure that a previous reader was blowing smoke directly into the pulpy pages, because that's the only explanation for why this book smelled so much like the dive bar I used to go to when I was underage in college. Too stubborn to find something else to read and too paranoid to simply enjoy the book, I donned latex gloves and a face mask favored by those fearful of bird flu or SARS when reading the thriller. The smell of latex still brings back the waves of nausea I associate with the majority of my first trimester.

This PSA, however, is not about tobacco. It's about the third hand effects of another addictive substance, coffee.  I personally am not a coffee imbiber, with the exception of the rare heavily sugared iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts on a hot day. But two of the people closest to me, Jack and Shakira, both have the habit pretty bad.

Smears from filters on the lid of my white trash can. Coffee grounds coating Petal's bottle carousel. Dried droplets spattered on exposed surfaces both probable and improbable, coffee detritus is insidious indeed. Living with the brown gunk is not new to me; I grew up with a mother who frequently left cold, abandoned mugs of the stuff in her children's closets while putting their clothes away. But today the Colombian menace launched a bold attack into previously unmolested territory: my purse.

I suppose it was my fault really. I took Jack's car out yesterday evening (my vehicle has the car seat installed, and we try to ensure that whomever is caring for Petal has the means to transport her if necessary.) When I returned home, I thoughtfully removed the assorted remains of Jack's breakfast from the cup holder.  I shoved the nearly empty coffee cup into the brown paper sack and then jammed the whole thing into my purse. I tossed the mess into the garbage can when I got inside and forgot about it.

Until this morning, when I reached into my purse and noted that my checkbook was covered in brown, sticky stains. And that the little pocket I use for gift certificates was, um, moist. Even my glasses cases smelled weird.

The problem wasn't insurmountable (though I did already have Petal strapped into her car seat.) I dumped out the contents of the purse, rinsed off the essential elements and stuck them in the diaper bag. I put the check that had born the brunt of the assault in the to be shredded pile. And I liberally applied vinegar and water to the lining of the purse (no harsh cleaning chemicals in this house, thankyouverymuch.)

But I couldn't help feeling that as a committed tea drinker, this shouldn't have happened to me. It should have happened to some caffeine fiend jittery and looking for her next fix. I guess this is what I signed on for when I said I Do. Well, my parents have made it work for 38 and a half years and my dad never touches the stuff. I'm sure Jack and I will be able to follow in their brown, gritty footsteps.

No Bueno

You know those days when everything comes together perfectly, you hit only green lights and there's not a cloud in your personal sky? Today has not been one of those days.  It's gone a little something like this:

0630 - Wake up from series of mundane boring dreams about changing diapers and measuring box springs. Say farewell to Jack as he heads to Virginia for a conference and then to visit his great-aunt.

0700 - Petal wakes up, an hour later than usual. Probably because she went to bed late last night, which in turn probably occurred because she took an extra long nap yesterday afternoon. Unsure how to get her back on schedule. Also note that she has stood up in the crib for the first time and extra precautions will need to be taken to ensure that she does not topple out of said crib.

0900 - Feed Petal pureed apples, which are a huge hit until the split second that her entire palette changes and she begins to shriek hysterically as though I'm feeding her the dreaded green beans. Declare breakfast over.

0925 - Attempt to get Petal to take her morning nap (Normal nap time is 0900.) Endure 40 minutes of screaming, flipping onto tummy and other shenanagins to avoid sleep. Finally crash at 1005.

1010 - Notice that cat has produced hairball approximately 3 inches long and 1/2 an inch wide. Ponder how cat could have possibly coughed up something this massive while cleaning it up.

1020 - Attempt to follow up on request made by Mother-in-Law (MIL for short) several weeks ago to create email address for Petal. Initially made mistake of using Petal's real birthday when completing set up process, which led to denial of account and implications that am interested in child porn. Ran into same problem when trying to create gmail account for mother, as browser had apparently saved Petal's birthdate. Had to explain to confused 61-year-old borderline computer illiterate mother that gmail said she wasn't old enough to have an account. Was able to get around problem by changing browsers, to tried that again today without success, only vague message about account not able to be completed at this time. Suspect that gamil is on to us about Petal being underage.

1045 - Feed Petal and make our way to the gym, arriving only five minutes after yoga class has started, which is pretty good for us these days. Attempted to hand Petal to Kids Klub staff member and am met with intense resistance (by Petal, not by staff member.) Realize that Petal's stranger anxiety, after a latent period of several weeks, is back full force. Spend 40 minutes in Kids Klub attempting to get Petal sufficiently acclimated before admitting defeat.

1145 - Attempt to drop off prescription using fancy drive through system at pharmacy. Manage to send tube off empty and am unable to get it to return. Defeated again, park car and lug pale, easily flushed child back into the late spring Maryland sunshine (heat index, 105.) In line for pharmacy, get stuck behind pharmaceutical  rep monopolizing pharmacist. Think nasty thoughts about pharmaceutical industry.

1208 - Mail Netflix envelope that both Jack and I managed to screw up mailing yesterday. Congratulate self on making it to the mailbox a whole hour before pickup, ensuring it will go out with today's mail. Return home to see that my mail has been delivered early, which most likely means the mail in the street mailbox was picked up early too. FML.

1230 - Webcam chat with Shakira. Ask her if she got the job at the international school that she interviewed for. Met with puzzlement as Shakira explains that she isn't supposed to hear for a few weeks. Insist that had been told Wednesday, as normally have very good memory for that sort of thing.

1320 - Remember that am scheduled to have webcam chat with mother and her class of preschoolers. Realize that V-neck t-shirt and sports bra produce a lot of cleavage, which get amplified on webcam. Attempt to tuck shirt into sports bra to avoid indecent exposure to class of four year olds.

1420 - Attempt to get Petal to take her afternoon nap, normally scheduled for 1400. After similar antics that occurred with morning nap, she falls asleep after 20 minutes. Debate whether should use down time to work on work at home job, do housework or read book. Opt to read new Erik Larson title that purchased for Jack but poached from his nightstand to read because it looked interesting.

1540 - Petal up. Think (for the thousandth time) how inopportune it is that Petal's babysitter is unavailable this week and that all playgroup events this week will be held outdoors (No thanks, too freaking hot.) Consider asking babysitter to come Monday- Friday next week so that can get work done. Remember that babysitter is turning 21 on Tuesday - crap, should have chosen nun-like babysitter with no discernible social life instead of pretty young college student.

1605 - Have Petal bare butt on changing table when phone rings. Fairly certain that it is Jack, so grab undiapered baby and run to bedroom to pick up phone. Can't hear Jack on his cell phone, finally ascertain that he is calling from a parking garage and will call back once he gets reception.

1615 - Still waiting for Jack to call back, and worried that will be late for gym class AGAIN. Call Jack and tell him headed to gym. He says he misses Petal and me, feel sorry for him that he will be stuck in the house all alone while Petal and I are in New England (leaving a month from today!)

1625 - Make it to Kids Klub five whole minutes before gym class starts, yes! Unfortunately, this means that Petal's favorite Kids Klub worker has not arrived yet. Make token efforts to get Petal acclimated to unfamiliar staff member but suspect that it will be in vain. See preferred staff member arrived, plot how can deposit Petal in her lap without offending new staff member. Finally, scoop up Petal and tell her that we are going to "say hi to CareBear." (Her real name is obviously not CareBear, but she is cheerful like a carebear.)

1645 - Leave gym defeated again.

1650 - Back to pharmacy, drive through this time. Told that I don't have health insurance. Produce health insurance card and told that will have to wait for info to be processed. Meanwhile, Petal is screaming in the back seat. Told that health insurance will not cover my Synthroid prescription since it is brand name. Am confused because have had coverage through this plan since October and have always had Synthroid covered. Tell pharmacy tech will call insurance company and come back later. Begin drive home, remembering all the problems we've had with this insurance and shudder.

1658 - Get text message from friend Mrs. Ice saying that she got the job. Remember that Mrs. Ice is the one who said she would hear about her job interview on Wednesday, not Shakira. Feel like crappy friend and crappy sister.

1700 - Call insurance company and explain problem. Am told that prior authorization is required for Synthroid and that I have been receiving it since October in error. Inquire about steps to obtain authorization and learn that I will have to call my endocrinologist's office, they will have to call the insurance company and that I will then have to get the pharmacy to change the fill date on the prescription if I want this bottle covered.   Realize that project will have to be delayed as it is after business hours.

1815 - Attempt to feed Petal a dinner that she normally enjoys, oatmeal and yogurt. Am met with shrieks of protest. Suspicions that another tooth is coming in confirmed. Prepare self for several days of food refusal, crankiness and sleepless nights.

But, despite the title of this post, there were parts of the day that were bueno. Like unexpectedly getting free shipping when ordering Dad's birthday gift from the National Geographic Store (my new favorite site for gifts.) And in between (and even during) bouts of crankiness, Petal was adorable and hilarious. For a sure -fire webcam crowd pleaser,  I lay a blanket on the floor and she launches herself onto it and cuddles and strokes it. I love a good blanket myself, so she gets that from me.